Where's my fairy godmother?

I would even settle for a Karen right about now because boy do I need some help. There's a clock ticking down and I'm on the wrong side of it.

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Manic demons are on a rampage and on our trail as the Rules in hell no longer apply. The only way to save this place and ourselves is to travel to the bowels of hell and open an ancient portal.

It should be simple, right? 

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Just travel through deadly trails to prove my worth by completing archaic tests that no one has passed before. Save one of my mates, destroy an uprising, and continue to harness my wonky powers. 

Yep, it sounds like a piece of cake. Too bad saving Hell isn't part of my final.